MoistCr1TiKaL's Hitman 3 Run is a Comedic Disaster

This was supposed to be a simple, clean assassination. Agent 47, the legendary master of stealth, was meant to slip in, eliminate the target, and vanish like a ghost. What actually happened was one of the most pathetic, yet somehow magnificent, displays of incompetence I've ever orchestrated. The whole mission devolved into a full-blown slapstick comedy routine within the first two minutes, proving that I have the opposite of a Midas touch—everything I interact with turns to pure, unadulterated chaos. It's less of a professional hit and more like a rejected script from a Looney Tunes episode. The plan went sideways almost immediately. I tried to pull off a slick chandelier kill, a classic move, but my timing was so off that instead of crushing the target, I managed to take out three innocent bystanders and a very confused janitor. From there, it was a beautiful domino effect of failure. Guards were alerted, forcing me to try and hide in a wicker basket I clearly didn't fit in, with my legs just sticking out. My only weapon became a can of expired spaghetti sauce that I found in a pantry, which proved surprisingly ineffective against armed guards. This entire moistcr1tikal playthrough is less 'Silent Assassin' and more 'Loudly Inept Moron.' At one point, I tried to create a distraction by throwing a brick, but I threw it directly at the wall in front of me, and it ricocheted back, knocking me out cold for a solid ten seconds. The grand finale wasn't some epic shootout, but me, dressed as a ridiculous flamingo mascot, running for my life as an entire army of security guards chased me through a garden party. The target, in a moment of sheer cosmic irony, saw the commotion, panicked, and ended up tripping over a conveniently placed rake and knocking himself unconscious. I guess that counts as a win? This whole penguinz0 Hitman 3 session is a masterclass in how *not* to be an assassin. It’s an absolute trainwreck that somehow results in mission success, and you won't be able to look away.