Penguinz0 Explains His Famous Monotone Voice

The question that has plagued my comments section since the dawn of time is 'Why do you talk like that?' It's a genuine mystery to some people. They come up with these wild theories that I'm either the most bored man alive, doing some kind of long-form performance art, or that my vocal cords were replaced with a text-to-speech program from 2004. The speculation is honestly more entertaining than the actual answer, but it's time to finally put the beast to rest. The grand, earth-shattering reveal is that... this is just my voice. There's no gimmick. This is the factory default setting I was born with. I’ve sounded like a GPS navigator announcing a wrong turn my entire life. It doesn't matter if I’m witnessing the most hype gaming moment in history or watching paint dry, the delivery system remains at a consistent, flatlining monotone. The excitement is happening on the inside, I swear, it just doesn't have the password to access my vocal cords. This is just the way MoistCr1TiKaL sounds. So there you have it. The whole penguinz0 voice mystery is solved. It's not a character, it’s not an affectation, it’s just the unfortunate audio that my throat produces. It’s pretty funny that out of everything, my complete lack of inflection became such a meme, but that's the internet for you. At least now you know the incredibly boring truth. It's the greatest anticlimax of our generation, and you were here to witness it.