MoistCr1TiKaL Ruins a Perfect Hitman 3 Stealth Run

The entire concept of Agent 47 is that he's a ghost, a whisper in the wind, a silent predator. My interpretation of that was apparently to be a bull in a china shop during a rave. The plan was simple: sneak in, eliminate the target, and slip out unnoticed. That plan lasted about twelve seconds before I decided a strategically thrown can of spaghetti sauce would be a better distraction than, you know, being quiet. The resulting chain reaction of panicked guards and blaring alarms was a sight to behold. Agent 47’s stoic face just doesn't match the sheer level of mayhem unfolding around him. At some point, you just have to lean into the disaster. The mission's primary objective quickly shifted from 'subtle assassination' to 'how many security guards can I knock out with a single fish?' Stealth was out the window, replaced by a symphony of incompetence. Every corner I turned, another perfectly good stealth opportunity was squandered in favor of doing something monumentally stupid. This entire playthrough is a masterclass in how not to play this game, proving why penguinz0 should probably stick to commentary instead of black-ops wetwork. The target eventually went down, but not from a clean sniper shot or a vial of poison. He was taken out by a tragic, Rube Goldberg-esque accident involving a fire extinguisher, a rubber duck, and a poorly aimed briefcase to the dome. It was less of a professional hit and more of a catastrophic workplace accident. While it might be the lowest-scoring Hitman run in history, it’s easily the most entertaining. It's the kind of masterclass in failure you only get from a moistcr1tikal gaming session, and it’s absolutely worth watching the chaos unfold.